


Love Sick

by SummerKnight



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Cute, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Healing, Heartbreak, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Mystery, Nonbinary Character, Other, Psychological Trauma, Sharing a Bed, Shyness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2019-12-31 21:54:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18322688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerKnight/pseuds/SummerKnight
Summary: A non-binary apprentice named Nix finds themselves waking up in a strangers room. After binge drinking to try and drown the pain about being left behind, Where should Nix go from here?





	1. Chapter 1 - HungOVER

**Author's Note:**

> I feel there are parts that are unexplored when it comes to the apprentice and their experience. Here is my version of what happens to Nix. I hope you all enjoy!~ I have been waiting until their routes were all finished so I can have my full experience!

I opened my eyes, glancing around the unfamiliar room. I shot out of bed, and looked down, realizing I was almost entirely undressed. The only thing I had on was a large, white, baggy shirt that certainly wasn’t mine. My head was pounding. I felt my face flush as I grabbed a crumpled blanket off the floor.  
Dammit. 

_I had way too much to drink at the Rowdy Raven last night! Where even am I?_

I quietly turned toward the bed to see a messy pile of auburn hair, accompanied by soft snores. I felt the tension release in my shoulders as I tried to slowly remove myself from the bed, as to not disturb this stranger.

_It’s coming back to me now. A Doctor was going to bring me somewhere… Probably to give me some sense to not drink my feelings away. Damn, I was way too drunk. But there is no way-_

I felt the nauseous feeling take over as I ran to the window, vomit landing below. I tried so hard to be quiet, but I heard him walk over to me.

“Drank til you made yourself sick?” He laughed while rubbing the silver bags under his eyes, “Been there, done that. Here, let me help you.”

I looked at him for a moment. He was wearing a pair of dark pants, but was not wearing a shirt. A few hairs dusted his chest. His hand was on top of his mangled mat of ginger hair.

He pulled my hair back for me lightly, and rubbed my back as I continued to be sick. After a couple of minutes, I turned to look at him.

“I’m...sorry…” I stammered, starting to make my way towards the door, “I don’t want to trouble you...I will just get going-” I let out an ugly belch, holding back stomach acid.

“Absolutely not!” He said, pointing a finger upwards. “You threw up all over your clothes last night, and you made a mess. Please,” He gave me puppy-dog eyes, “Let me help you.”  
  
And honestly? I really couldn’t turn down those sweet gray eyes. He helped me up, and then took me by surprise. He picked me up and walked me over to the bed. His eyes looked at me with such an innocent glance. I heard his heart beating so strong and secure. He smelled of woodsmoke and whiskey. He carefully placed me down on the bed and even tucked me in.

“Now, Doctor’s orders. Stay here, and let me take care of you. I will be right back.”

I saw him canter out of the room, and a couple of minutes later return with a glass tea cup with a brewed mixture in it. In his other hand he held a small mysterious jar, with its contents writhing and squirming.

“Here. I know it’s not that good but it will help ease the stomach.” 

He handed the cup to me. I took a sip. It took all of my energy to not throw it up but I looked at him with a weak smile.

“Thanks, Doc.”

“No problem. The name is Julian. Now, for another medical treatment. Though a lot of people think it’s ridiculous, I have to disagree. Laughter is the best medicine!”

I gave him a puzzled look.

“Well, uhh,” He said clearing his throat, his face flushing, “What do you call a wine induced hangover?”

I thought about it for a moment and shrugged. “ _A Grape Depression!_ ” He chuckled to himself as I cracked a smile. “It’s a start at least. So, uhh…” He started putting on his white baggy shirt as well as some squeaky leather boots, “Sorry about last night. I didn’t want you to be covered in your own vomit, so I thought it would be appropriate to switch you into some clean clothes once you stopped getting sick. I hope you don’t mind.”

“That’s fine. I appreciate all you have done for me.”

“Not a problem at all, Kitten!” He winked, “I just felt bad. I didn’t want you to get burns or anything from it, and I know you were not in your...Usual state. I did ask you even though you were intoxicated. But obviously we didn’t-!” His face grew red, and then he took a big breath, “Just..uhm...Let me go grab something else to help. This will be a while, though, but, uhm, you just get some rest.”  
He scurried off before I could say anything. I flipped over to my back, trying to ignore the pains and churning from too much booze. I tried to let my eyes shut; I was exhausted. I rested for a while, and then suddenly woke up to Julian.

“Hey...You can go back to sleep in a second...I just wanted to let you know that  
I am going to use a few leeches on you, ok??”

A sleep saturated laugh erupted from me.

“Wait, you are Doctor Devorak?”

A look of surprise crossed his face as he placed some leeches in strategic places on my body. “Yes, it’s the one and only.”

“I have heard so much about you! You use leeches all the time in your work. I was studying to be a doctor, and I was an apprentice to Asra for a while. I wanted to see if I could combine magic and healing, but-”

I felt the pain again. Asra always was gone. He always left. I felt so alone, all the freaking time.

“He is never there anymore. I read a bit about you and-” I blushed, “You could say I am a fan.” I didn’t know if my cheeks were red from the fever or from what I said. “That is great to hear! My popularity is rising faster than I predicted!”

I laughed again, only with my headache starting to slowly fade.

“Have more tea!” He looked to my tea cup. I begrudgingly took another sip, shivering when I had to swallow it in disgust. 

“Thanks, Doctor.”

He smiled, “No problem. Now, here are your clothes. I cleaned them all up for you!”

He placed the neatly folded clothes on the edge of the bed, “You...You really didn’t have to do this. I feel so bad I ruined your plans I-” He took a long slender finger to my lips.  
“You didn’t ruin any plans. And I know I didn’t have to but you looked like you really needed someone there with you. You were not in a good place. What is your name?”

“...Nix.”

“Nix, is everything ok?”

I sighed, sitting up to the edge of the bed. I stayed sitting due to my swirling headache, even though it was fading. 

“My Master, who I mentioned earlier. Asra. He is never there. I feel this...This void. I get so pissed he leaves me behind. Am I just…” I felt tears well in my purple eyes, “Am I just that bad of a magician? Am I so useless to him that he just thinks he can leave? Why does Asra not let me go with him?”

Dr. Devorak seemed taken aback for a moment by the tears falling from my face, but then a stern look glinted in his silver eye. 

“You..You should stay away from him.”

“You know him? More than just by name?”

“I thought I could trust him once. I thought he was my, ahem...friend. He went and betrayed me. I was working very hard to try and cure the plague with him. He just used me for some silly magic tricks. All he cares about is himself.”  
I looked into his eyes, and could not stop staring. I didn’t know he was so close, nevermind was upset.

“Maybe...Maybe I will. But I don’t have much of a place to go.”

His lips twisted into a crooked smile, “I was looking for an apprentice! Downstairs I run a daytime clinic. I could use some help with basic chores and I can teach you.”

I gawked at him, “But! How am I even, like, a good candidate?! I was the one who got drunk and puked everywhere! Why me?!”

A throaty laugh emerged from his pale lips, “You got some spirit, Babe!” He snorted softly, and I found my heart leaping at the sound of it, “You are worried more about me than yourself. And that is the kind of trait that a doctor wants in his apprentice. Now go to sleep, I mean it! I won’t wake you up with leeches this time.”

“What about you?”

“Well,” He yawned and stretched, his lean and broad shoulders and back twisting as he pulled out a black tunic and pulled it on, along with leather dark gloves and some boots. “It’s time for me to get working down there. I got to open up the clinic and take care of some patients. You just rest and come down when you’re feeling better.” He gave me a reassuring crooked smile. I closed my eyes, and didn’t even remember hearing his leather boots clicking down the stairs.  


...... 


	2. Chapter 2 - Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares haunt Nix. It keeps them awake all night, tossing and turning. Nix wants to forget about the pain that Asra caused them. How can Nix heal from this pain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited for you guys to see what is to come! It is only the beginning. ~  
> I am so glad for the positive feedback and support I have received from this story! You guys are the best!  
> ~Much Love!  
> Summer Knight

I looked around into the dark purple sky, intimidating black clouds swirling above me. I felt Faust drape herself on my arm. I looked down and saw her indigo head weave against my natural curves and divots in my arm. She turned to me, her ruby eyes gleaming.

_Hate. Hate you. Hate this life._

She soon reached the ground, and looking up in front of me, Asra stood, a cold look in his eyes. _“I did so much for you. And it is never enough. Whining and crying when I am out there, for you. To Protect you. You waste all the money you earn at the shop on alcohol and to what? Try to erase me? You could never erase me.”_

I felt the tears stinging my eyes. Dreams. They were always so depressing, and always lonely. They killed me. Seeing Asra up and about, having adventures. He would always leave me behind. Asra turned away from me, placing his hand on the ground. In a few short moments, a fuzzy beast erupted from the earth, its wheaty locks covering its small beady eyes. Faust found her way into Asra’s scarves. He looked toward me after he had mounted the beast. _“Do not follow us. You would only get in the way.”_

But even as the beast turned his haunches to me, I found my feet hitting the ground with so much hope and force. I wanted to be there with him. Asra. Even if I would be in the way, I want to adventure. I want to help. Whatever he is running away from, I want to pull him close and have him know that he isn’t alone. I kept running toward him, but the beast ran off with Asra and Faust scowling at me. Even with my heart soaring, and having that small inkling of hope, soon I fell to the ground, my hands shaking. Tears came out in streams as I saw them fade into the dark clouds.

I opened my eyes and found myself in a sweat. I shot out of bed, thankful it was a dream. I felt a small section of my chest feeling void and empty, Stretching, I found my headache was almost gone. I paced over to the window and looked down, and saw Julian helping a younger boy inside his clinic with what looked to be an injured leg. I looked at the edge of the bed and saw my clothes, cleaner than when I even stepped foot into the bar. I slid on my fresh clothes, the scent of small amounts of Lavender and Eucalyptus drifting around me. I went down the stairs and found Julian helping that boy onto a cot. 

The clinic was just the downstairs portion of his house, lined with cots. 5 per side, and 10 in total. He had a cauldron on over a fire, and next to it was a large salamander. It was the size of a cat, and he was curled next to the flames, snoring. 

“I didn’t know you had a stove salamander!”

I accidently startled Julian, but when he turned and found me there he smiled.

“Ah, so the Vomit Queen returns!”

I put my hand on my hip and gave him a dirty look.

“I mean, I am not wrong am I?” He snickered. I walked over to him and the boy with the injured leg.

“ What is the Fire salamanders name?”

“His name is Ignius. He loves his belly scratches!” 

Julian glanced toward Ignius, and with one bright blue eye and one green eye, the tip of his orange tail started quivering with the mention of belly scratches. I crept to the other side of the room, keeping caution in mind when approaching the stove salamander. I put my hand toward him, and he took a small sniff. The toothless creature smiled wide, and jumped on me, licking my hair. 

“Hey!” I said laughing, “Down boy! Here, let me scratch your tummy.”

I shot a quick look at Julian to see if he was looking at me. I caught him turning his head away, his ears turning red. I circled back to Ignius, and he rolled over, his orange tail swishing back and forth. His belly was a soft shade of green, and when I started scratching it he chortled in delight, his purple tongue hanging out. After a few moments when Ignius seemed satisfied, I turned back to Julian.

“So, How can I help?”

It was a long day. The boy came in with the injured leg needed stitches, and Julian taught me how to cleanse and sew a wound. He loves leeches, and taught me that there are actually over 700 species of leeches. Three categories of leeches too; Marine, freshwater and terrestrial. A while later an older woman came in coughing, and Julian just fed her some soup from the Cauldron. I began working on dinner. Finally, once everyone was better, Julian got up and stretched.

“Ah, the end of the work day.” He went outside to flip a sign, and a blur flew into the house. Startled, I screamed and went to pick up the closest thing to defend myself, which happened to be a small stool.

“What is it?!” Julian exclaimed. He soon saw me ready to beat the creature that made its way inside. It cawed at me. “Good grief! Thats Malak, he’s my raven! He brings me special ingredients and things for the shop. By the Gods, put the stool down!”

I did as I was told. I looked to see the raven cawing, almost like laughing at me.

“Now Malak, any good herbs for me today?” 

A single pouch was attached to his foot. Julian removed it, then put the small bag in his mouth so he could remove his gloves. My heart dropped when I saw Julian had a tattoo on his left hand. An arrow with a heart fixed on the other end, a branding usually reserved for those who have taken another person’s life. My eyes must have widened, because Julian stammered as he clutched the pouch in his bare palm.

“It’s from-from a really long time ago. In Praka. I didn’t just straight up murder anyone. I-it’s, uh, complicated.” His eyes darted up and down in fear, “Well, uh, Let’s go eat.”

_Well, I mean he is a doctor. And it’s in the past, whatever it is.I will ask him later…_

He set two of his medical stools up, as well as a small side table and adorned it as if it was the greatest kitchen set in all the land. It was very sweet how well he put it together.

“Sorry, I am not used to eating with someone.” I saw his ears go red, “It is...Nice. Thank you for making food.”

I nodded, already stuffing beef stew into my mouth. I had spent over three hours working on this hearty stew. It had greens, carrots, potatoes and fresh beef. It was spiced with excellent herbs. Even though I didn’t do much cooking, I was still pretty good at it. As we sat at the table, I felt my stomach scream for food. I waited until he was sitting before I dug in. I brought the bowl to my mouth, taking in the delicious meal. I looked at him, with a small green piece of kale hanging from my mouth. Julian blushed. 

“Jeez, hungry huh?”

I nodded and tried to clean up my act. I felt my face go hot. Julian stood up.

“I need a refreshment. Be right back.”

He shortly returned with a small keg. I felt my stomach churn at the thought of alcohol.

“Thirsty?” He asked, offering me a glass.

I shook my head, my stomach already twisting.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to be rude but alcohol and I aren’t best buds right now.”

“No problem.” He stared at the keg, then at me, then back at the small keg. “Well, I can’t drink this all by myself. I mean, I can, but then someone is going to get naked.” His face flushed as he nervously laughed. I giggled with him. 

He put the keg away. He got himself some water instead. We had lovely conversations about leeches, the day, and even Ignius. Soon we finished our meals, let Ignius out and headed upstairs. 

“What are we going to do about a bed?” I mumbled. 

I saw Julians pale face turn a nice shade of red. 

“Guess I never thought that far; oh Woe is Me!” He said dramatically, placing his hand on his forehead. “ Its _so Awful_ I have to just sleep next to an _adorable_ person!” He smiled, then looked at me, “The bed is kinda small...I mean if you don’t mind…”

I shrugged. I mean, any excuse to sleep next to this eye candy. Could you blame me? His wheaty ginger locks, his thin lips, and his damn thick eyebrows. He waggled one of those at me and It could make me do a lot of things.

“Sure. I mean, I don’t mind. You’re adorable yourself.” With that comment, he bit his lip. 

He lent me another shirt, and soon we settled down for the night. He snuggled into bed first as I changed in the other room. When I came back, he had big puppy eyes and a wide smirk plastered on his face. He patted next to him in the bed, and I crawled in. I turned to face the other way so he wouldn’t see how bright my face became. I felt his warmth against my skin, and his broad shoulders settle into the mattress. I felt wisps of his auburn hair tickle my neck.

“Goodnight, Nix. Ignius, do not wake us up ya big oaf!” 

I heard a happy croak, and at the edge of the bed I felt him curl up. Julian sighed, but I scratched Ignius’s chin. A happy chirp emerged from him. He settled down by our feet, snoring lightly. 

Soon, I found myself staring up at the pale ceiling. Hours of Tossing and turning, every time I closed my eyes I saw him. The white and powdery locks; and those damned violet eyes. The smallest curl of his lip. The way he smelled of incense drew me in. Yet, his eyes and his scowl pushed me away. 

_Why does he do this shit to me?_

I couldn’t take it anymore. I slowly flipped off the covers, as to not disturb Julian. Ignius opened one eye and croaked, but then fell back asleep. I found myself pulled to the open window. I took a stool from the other end of the room and placed it near the window. I placed myself down upon it, looking up at the crescent moon and the bright stars. 

_Does Asra even think about me? Are we even looking at the same moon? Why must he always run and hide? I want to help him; so desperately._

I found tears welling up in my eyes again. I quietly sniffed them away, staring into the sky. I lightly drummed my fingers against the frame, my mind pacing. I sniffed again, but this time felt a small touch on my shoulder. I turned quickly to see Julian, standing shirtless behind me with a handkerchief.

“Here. Come sit with me. Tell me what is going on, Nix. I want to help you.”

I accepted the handkerchief, guilt seeping into my being, “ Julian, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Julian gave me a gentle smile, “ I couldn’t sleep either. Here, let’s go downstairs and make some tea. Do you like tea?” I nodded, “Great! I will make you your favorite tea. Then whatever you need to talk about or vent about, I am here for you.”

I smiled in response. He lead me downstairs after having Ignius light a small oil lantern. Julian lit a small fire for the tea kettle. Gathering a bunch of snuggly materials, like blankets and pillows, he made a small ‘nest’ near the fire.

“There you are my dear. Please, make yourself comfortable. I am in your service.” He gave me a small wink as he dramatically bowed. 

I crawled into the vast mountain of comfort, finding myself tear up at the kind gestures. I quietly watched Julian from across the room, tending to the kettle.

“What type of tea do you like, my Dear? I have whatever your little heart can imagine.”

I pondered for a moment, wiping my nose, “ I really like Lavender and Chamomile.”

Julian started to hum softly. I quietly watched him meticulously add the different teas to the kettle. When it began to steam, he blew out the fire. He picked a beautiful wooden cup, which looked like it was handmade, and served me some warm tea. 

“There, that should warm you up a bit.”

“Thank you,” I said, taking a sip of its earthy floral tea, “This is really good. Why-uh, have you been so nice to me? I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

“You do.” He softly hummed, sitting next to me in the nest, “Any living being deserves care and attention. Just because someone neglected you doesn’t mean the world will hate you. He may seem like your world right now, but time may heal those wounds.”

I stopped mid-sip, flabbergasted, “...How did you know..?”

Julian gave a soft laugh, rubbing his red eye.

“Someone likes to sleep talk.”

My face grew to a cherry red. 

“Oh no I didn’t-”

“You didn’t keep me awake, I promise. I have issues sleeping too. It is just-” His ears went red, “J-just really nice to not be alone all night.”

I felt asleep tugging on my eyes, and I slowly slumped over toward Julian. Soon I found my head resting on his chest, my blue hair falling messily over my eyes. I felt Julian tense at the contact, but then I felt him relax. In a few moments, I felt his arm loop around my shoulders, pulling me ever closer. For the remainder of the night, we talked about how I felt so alone and left behind. He was very reassuring and understanding. His validations and ideas about how no one should go through this kind of abandonment was very comforting. 

“T-thank you..” I mumbled.

I heard Julian mumble something back, but soon sleep caught up with me. For the first time in several years, my dreams were full of imaginative creatures and stories; completely free of Asra.

……. 


	3. Chapter 3 - Serpent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nix never thought that their life would end up unfurling this way. Working with a man with a murderous history, and their master who knows where. What will they do when Malak brings in Trouble?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy for the positive feedback so far on this story! You guys are very sweet. Get ready for a feel trip the next few chapters. ;)

I heard a pounding at the door. Julian and I both bolted awake, his arm quickly unfurling from me. We both glanced at each other with bright red faces, then looked away. Julian bounded up first, reaching for the infamous jacket hanging by the door. After he quickly buttoned up, he opened the door. A blur shot into the room, and chaos erupted.

“CAW CAW CAW!” Malak cried, as if in victory. He held a trophy in his claws, squirming. I rubbed my eyes and could not believe it. 

_Help! Nix, Help! Attacked by big meanie bird!_

I rushed to Malak, bringing Faust to freedom.

_Thanks! Squeeze!_

Faust curled her way up my arm and hid behind my blue hair. Julian looked just as shocked.

“...Faust?” He ran to her, holding his hand out for her to quickly flick her tongue toward. 

_Illya! Slippery Boy!_

Faust found her way toward Julian, who started to back away.

“Nice to see you, Faust, but what is happening?”

Faust straightened up, looking straight at me. 

_Asra. Trouble._

I felt my heart drop. I quickly darted glances between Julian and Faust.

“Wait...Illya? Faust? You two know each other?”

Julian looked away, his forehead damp with sweat. 

“Illya was an old nickname...From a long time ago. And yes. Maybe I was not entirely...Uh...Honest about Asra and I.”

_Friends? Help?_

I looked to Julian, but his eyes got surprisingly cold. He crossed his arms at the snake, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently.

“If she wants to help, fine. But he doesn’t deserve it.”

Faust frowned, but didn’t argue. She looked to me with a glisten of hope in her little red eyes.

_Help? Asra stuck._

“Where is he stuck?” 

Faust sighed, and didn’t respond. She started to head toward the door. I scooped her up and looked at here.

“Where should we go?”

She perked up, her tongue flicking out.

_Shop! Magic._

Turning to Julian, I gave him a look of determination. Every ounce of Julian’s being looked stern. 

“I will be back. Asra may not deserve my help, but as you said, ‘Any living being deserves care and attention. Just because someone neglected you doesn’t mean the world will hate you.’ And he sounds like he might be in trouble.”

He nodded, but I could tell he disagreed. I scooped up precious Faust, and she situated herself around my neck loosely. I felt my feet pound against the stone walkways, running to my magic shop. I had not been there since the night I got drunk. Soon we arrived to the shop, but to my surprise the door was off its hinges. Faust coiled down to the ground and slithered inside. 

_Here! Uh oh._ That was very strange. I always set protective charms for my shop, but they were all disbanded. I ran inside, hiding behind the counter. The strong scent of Myrrh filled the room. I fiddled with a drawer and pulled out a knife. Asra gave it to me once. Across the way, I saw a hulking figure towering over a table. Next to it, a small creature who kept whimpering. I snuck up a little closer, until the booming voice echoed.

"I.....I know you are there...We need help..P-please..."

The towering man turned, his scarred face and sad eyes looking toward me. He seemed so familiar, but I could not place a name to his face. Next to him, a mangled wolf. She looked at me and whimpered, licking a bloody hand that was hanging from the pile of silks. In his arms, I saw so much blood. His chest was covered in it. But in the pile of torn and bloody silks was the crescent stained powder locks. My heart stopped. Fear started to flush through my veins. 

_Asra!_

...... 


	4. Chapter 4 - Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nix is starting to put together the pieces. Maybe things are not what they seem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I think this was my favorite chapter to write so far!

I had to run. Just like in my dreams, my feet pounding against the cobblestone. Behind me trailed the giant, towering and scarred man and his wolf. I couldn’t bear to see Asra like this. No matter how often he left, he had always come back from me. He always had so much guilt in his eyes when he had to go. What if-

I screamed as I burst through Julians door.

“Julian! He is hurt! Really bad!” I panted.

He turned toward me, one thick eyebrow raised, “How badly?”

His silver eyes locked with mine. I didn’t say a word, but he knew it was serious. He started prepping a cot, and soon the giant man ducked inside, his arms full of torn silks and a mangled body. He looked at Julian and then to the silks.

“....Please….Help him….” The man with the scars looked down and his face went red.

Julian huffed once, but showed him where to put Asra. Julians eyes widened at the sight. 

Asras eyes were closed, and he grunted when he was placed upon the cot. Some of his silks fell to the floor. In Asras hands, he clutched a leather satchel. It had bright embroidery, and it was tied shut. Julian began taking off the silks to see where he was injured. On the bottom left hand side of his abdomen, there were three large red gashes gushing blood. On his left forearm there were also large wounds, but the one near his abdomen was the worst. Julian turned towards me, a solemn look on his face. 

“Asra.” Julian stated, “You damned fool.” He said as his eyebrows knitted together. Julian began to start washing his wounds, Asra flinching at every point of contact. Faust found her way into Asras lap, looking at him with her head turned.

_Going to be ok?_

Asra half opened his eyes, looking at Faust. He flashed a small smile, but then a groan. 

“Hopefully…”

The tall man loomed over all of us. I was surprised when I looked at him to see tears in his eyes. His fists were clenched, and his face was red. His lip was quivering.

“....Lucky when I found you, huh Asra? You….Y-you….” He tensed, “You better make it. Another moment lost and you may have already been dead…”

Asra groaned in pain but did not respond. The tall man seemed hurt by this, and soon rushed out the doorway, his mysterious wolf following behind. I turned toward Julian and Asra once more. 

“...Who was that?” I asked quietly.

Asra opened his eyes, and an expression of shock and comfort overcame his face. He tried to reach out his right hand, but retracted and moaned in pain when he did so. I walked over to the side of the cot, holding the hand he tried to give me. 

“....In this satchel-” He could only look down on it, “Open it...It will explain...A lot. I-I am so sorry…. I wish I could explain e-everything… But I can’t…” Asras face grew red and tears started to roll down his cheeks. His hand twitched, but it suddenly cupped my face. “Just know…” He wheezed, “I Love You...And if I get through this, I will never leave...Again…” With a gentle and weak amount of strength, he pulled my face toward his. His cool lips met mine. Passion, sweat and tears saturated the kiss. I held his head and felt his hair matted with blood. I leaned into the kiss, aching for more. But in that moment, Asra’s strength left him all at once, passing out. His unconscious head fell into my chest, his tears soaking through my tunic. I flickered a glance toward Julian, where his eyebrows knitted together in frustration. He angrily began to suture his wounds, while still being gentle and careful with Asra. 

“Well, What is in that satchel that is _super_ important?” He grumbled. 

My shaking fingers untied the leather pouch, and inside was a letter, a small capped jar, a deck of cards, and a large ruby amulet. I picked the letter first, its delicate parchment envelope engraved with swooping cursive writing. My heart sank as I broke the familiar fox wax seal. 

_What would he hide from me? How did he even get hurt in the first place?_

My Dearest Nix, Where do I even begin? You must have so many questions. This journey has been long, hard and very lonely. I won’t be surprised if you are even angry with me. But I want to let you know that whatever you are currently feeling, I validate and understand that. You have every right to be upset, even...hate me. But I believe you deserve to know the truth. I have been trying to find a cure. The rumors about the red plague coming this way, toward Venusia. I wish to protect you. You mean more to me than the sun in the sky. You are the world to me, and the thought of ever losing you kills me. Ever since I found you as an orphan and took you in, you have been the light of my life. Even though we are only a few years apart, I feel so close to you. I have been across the world, hunting for any clue of a cure. When I reached Praka, they had a rare herb that was rumored to be a possible cure. I have that in the bottle for Illya-maybe he can figure it out. I doubt he has forgiven me either. By the gods, I have so many regrets. I am tired from running from them. I want to be here to try and fix all my mistakes I have made, if that is even possible anymore. The deck of cards are my very own Arcana cards, which I have spent years creating. As my Apprentice, these cards I have made with you in mind. You are already aware of how I can use the Arcana to guide me and help me. I made this deck just for you, incase you feel lost or lonely. The amulet was a present I bought for you in Praka. There is so much more I wish to tell you, Nix. If you somehow find any forgiveness in your heart, and want to start adventuring with me, I will. Pray to the several gods that maybe, you would want to sit down and we can talk through my mistakes. I am so desperately sorry, Nix. In trying to protect you, I have left you behind. And it is entirely my fault. I am so sorry. If you give me a chance, I can take the time to do whatever needs to be done for you to heal. And if that means never seeing me again….So be it. I just want to see you Happy again. ~Asra

Anger. Fear. Guilt. I felt an influx of so many emotions, I just sat there, gawking at all the overloads of information I have combed through. The plague? It is headed this way? I was an orphan? I do not remember my parents. All I remember is Asra finding me one day, when I was 16 near the docks. He took me in and ever since has been so kind and gentle; when he was there anyway. He knows how I feel, but how?

I stood up, putting the Arcana cards in my pocket. I put the amulet on top of the letter, and handed Julian the small bottle. His eyes narrowed as I placed it in his gloved hand.

“For you. A possible cure for the Red Plague, coming this way.”

Julians eyes widened. 

“What?! The plague? That is definitely not what is wrong with Asra at the moment. I will have to study this herb and see what I can play around with.”

I looked again to Asra. His breath was ragged and shallow, and he was almost entirely stitched up. Julian tied the last knot. As he reached for bandages, he sighed under his breath. 

“Oh Asra…” 

I watched as Julian carefully wrapped and taped the bandages. He moved in such a fluid motion. His long fingers nimbly worked around all Asras muscles, with a gentleness normally only seen in quilters or bakers. His eyes were focused, much like a Hawks. Julian’s Auburn hair started to stick to his forehead, but he paid no mind. He was so focused and hardworking. Soon Asra was bandaged. I was glad to see no blood seeping through them.

“Well, all we can really do now is pray and make sure he stays hydrated. When he wakes up, you should feed him some soup. That will give him the energy that he needs to heal.”

Soon we saw a large shadow enter through the door. The large man was back with his wolf, although they were both cleaned up. The man had arms full of animal pelts and blankets. 

“...Here… This is for him…”

He tucked the pelts on and around Asra, to make him comfortable. Then he sat on the floor next to Asra, his legs crossed. His wolf ventured toward him, lying down next to him. The man saw the amulet on top of the letter, and held it toward me.

“Wear this. It will help you remember…”

I took the amulet and put it on. Suddenly, the man in front of me I remembered. He was Asra’s best friend. I had been to his house several times in the woods, and helped him feed his chickens. His wolf is Inanna and it's his familiar. This is Muriel! Muriel gave a shy smile, and from his pocket he produced a piece of wood and a knife. It looked used and nicked, but he started carving. Julian paid no mind to it, even with the wood chips cascading to the floor. Julian washed his hands, grabbed a cup of black coffee and a small slice of sourdough bread. He sat next to Asra, staring at his face with a pained look of pity. We didn’t say much, but I watched Muriel as he started carving a more complicated figure, though I couldn’t be certain what it was yet. After a little while, I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. It was Julian, his eyes glistening. 

“Do you...Wanna go out? There isn’t much else I can do right now other than wait. Maybe we can get something to eat? You probably need some fresh air.”

He was right. Being in this situation, constantly watching and waiting is stress inducing. Right now the best thing for me was to get my mind off this stress. My heart was aching, and I felt my stomach speak in hunger, and I felt it knot. Food might be good too right now.

“Sure? To the Rowdy Raven?”

Julian smiled. “Whatever you need.”

…... 


	5. Chapter 5 - Rowdy Raven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting Rowdy with Julian at the Rowdy Raven! Plus, Nix is finally learning more about Julian!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TECHNICALLY The next chapter is here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18689155
> 
> Since it is VERY EXPLICIT I decided to make an explicit collection for those who would rather pass. Enjoy! 
> 
> Unpopular opinion, I wish Barth (The bartender) was more of a relevant character. He could be so funny. I imagine him being a plump, jolly and slightly inappropriate man. I really wanted to incorporate him in this because he could be so adorable. And same with the baker. Gotta get that bread, guys. Thanks for coming to my sleep deprived ted talk.

Julian checked on Asra one more time before we headed out the door. He turned and locked it, placing the key in his pocket. He drew in a big breath and let it out with a sigh.

“I’m….Sorry.” He muttered. 

I locked my purple eyes into his silver ones, and then my gaze fell to the cobblestone at our feet. He laced his arm within mine and started to guide us towards the Rowdy Raven. Our steps synced and clicked upon the gray stones. Around this time, just a few days ago, I was drinking my life away down here. I thought that I could heal in my own solitude. I Yearned for Asra to be here, and now that he is I am almost regretting putting that wish in the world. Sure, I was angry he always left, but it always seemed like it did it to protect me. Is it my fault he is hurt? Is he angry I started to get closer to Julian? And what is Julian hiding from me, anyway?

Julian stopped, placing a leather-gloved hand upon my shoulder with grace. 

“My dear,” He purred, “What is wrong? I just hate to see such sad eyes.” He held my head in his hands, cradling it as if it was a precious gem. His eyes looked sad and helpless. He knew why I was upset. I looked to the cobblestone again.

“W-what is g-going to happen..?” I asked, my voice being choked with tears. 

“Well,” He shrugged, “We can work hard to try and make him better. We can pray. We can use magic to try and help him heal, although we all know magic cannot solve everything. I can do everything in my power to help him,” He looked towards the ground, his ears turning scarlett, “If that is what would make you happy.”

I felt so alone. I felt so weak. I must have surprised Julian when I fell into his arms and held him tightly. I took a deep breath, but I did not shed many tears. I knew deep down we were doing everything we could to help him. After we pulled away, he looked at me with dopples of sweat crowning his thick brows. 

“T-thank y-you…” I murmured. I laced my arm back with his. “I haven’t been to the Rowdy Raven since...well…”

Julian had a mischievous grin spread over his face, his eye brow waggling. 

“Well, let us make some happy and rowdy memories, eh? Nothing is better than a beer, some food and gorgeous company for the night. Whatever you want, it is on me.” He patted his jacket, close to his hip. I heard a jangle of lots of coin. “As a doctor, tonight I am prescribing you your favorite meal, drinks in moderation and a fun night. What do you say?” He spread his arms wide in a dramatic fashion, ensuring his coat billowed behind him as his grin somehow became even more sly. It made me smile. I always liked how he could make a bad situation bearable. 

“OK,” I leaned closer to him, “But isn’t a ‘fun night’ kind of vague? What kind of a night would that consist of?” I gave him a quick wink and felt my heart jump when I saw him blush and quickly bite his lip.

“Whatever it takes.” He whispered, aching with hunger.

He quickly pecked my cheek, and cleared his throat. After a few moments, we reached the wooden oak door. Above, a sign with a raven perched on a tankard stated ROWDY RAVEN. Julian opened the door, motioning me to go first. His leather gloves seemed to glow in the sunsetting light from outside. I nodded and thanked him as I headed inside. There were a few young musicians playing some songs. Only a few people were eating or drinking but it all smelled amazing. Julian held my hand and guided me towards a bar, with a plump man with a green hat who was washing tankards.

“Barth! My handsome man! How are you?” Julian said, “Can I have my usual?”

Barth got around from the counter, smiling at him and hugged him. Julian seemed embarrassed but only for a moment. 

“Illya! How are you, friend? You seem awfully chipper this evening. Oh, and who-” Barth came up to me and also gave me a quick hug. “ Who are you, my fine person?” He reached down and grabbed my hand, kissing it.”

Julian cleared his throat and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to him. 

“This is Nix. My, uh-”

I cut him off, “We are partners. Right?”

Barth had glee light up his eyes as Julian’s cheekbones reddened. I looked up through the disheveled auburn hair, moving some out of his eyes. His mouth twitched into a smile. 

“Oh how wonderful! Illya you caught a good one! Here, first drinks are on me.”

Julian motioned me down to a stool, in which we started to wait for drinks. He ordered a Salty Bitters, and I got a Bijou. Julians hand clasped mine, and I felt that his gloves were actually off. His hands seemed clammy but warm. 

“So...Y-you...Uh….Like me too?” He stammered.

“Of course I do. You find the good in bad situations. You are funny. You are just so damn nice. You are just-” I held his face in my hands and kissed him. I felt Julian moan and lean into the kiss, his lips warm and tender. His hand wandered up my back and pulled me in, as if he wanted more right there on the bar. I pulled away before things escalated. “I, uh...Like you lots.”

He pulled back as Barth started to laugh. “That is one way to put it! Ha! Here are your first round of drinks. If you need a room there is one up the stairs. Just don’t be too loud!” He snorted in laughter as he started washing the mugs again. My face went red as we both quietly took our first sips of our drinks. Julian got up to go follow Barth and let him know that he wanted a lobster dinner, and for myself I ordered a mutton chop with fresh seasonal greens and fresh bread. Julian came back, and before he sat down he pecked me on the cheek again.

“So, how is your drink? Are you feeling a bit better?” He asked as he swirled his in his hand. 

“It is good, but I do not want to get drunk. I have too much shit to worry about.”

“We will do everything we can to help him. What he needs now is some rest.”

“That is true. But I do have some questions actually. Why do you have the tattoo on your hand?”

Julian looked at his hand as if it talked in a foreign language. “What? This old thing? Well I have a story for you.” 

He whisked his cloak off dramatically, and started his story. He told tales of war elephants, mysterious seas and trying to track down a person that killed his mother and father. At first, it was only Julian and Portia. They went searching for revenge, and went from Braavos to Praka to Vesuvia. He ran into Malazinka and, at first, they were partners to try and and find the killer. But eventually, she really grew fond of them and helped them on their endeavors.

“Now-” He said, “It had been almost a year since we had been tracking him. And finally, in the aqueducts of Vesuvia we had cornered him. Pasha and I. I had two knives in my hands, and Portia with her sword. What a tough little gal she is. We both cornered him and got our revenge.” I shivered, “But the guards heard all the ruckus. I was able to use my professional persuasion skills to help free Pasha, and land her a job with the Countess. I took the blame and in return became, well, uh, branded. I mean that man killed my parents. And I know I am a burdensome scumbag sometimes but that man deserved to dance with Death. Don’t you agree? Obviously I do not go around killing people, well, on purpose. I am a doctor, Death tends to play part within my hands often, but that was the only and last time.”

I certainly agree with him. And nevermind how hard that must be to come to terms with the fact that Death has been so present in his life. 

“Now while we wait for dinner, now that you have half your drink gone,” He waggled those handsome eyebrows at me, “You wanna tango? Or is waltz more your thing? Pick your poison, love.” He reached a hand towards me. I smiled and took it. 

Julian held my body close, taking one hand into his. His other hand snaked around my waist. It just felt so natural. Julian wiggled his eyebrows as the music began to start. The music seemed to move me to the core. I moved my feet and his followed in perfect harmony. The world began to spin around me, and soon I found myself in our own space. Just me and him. Nothing else mattered, and even the music seemed to fade. His broad shoulders and his auburn hair seemed to glow when he smiled. His gentle breath as he moved with so much grace and lightness, even for being such a tall and gangly man. The way his hips and long legs were tucked into black leather pants. The way his white shirt fluttered and flashed small pieces of ginger chest hair. I was just so caught up in the moment.Suddenly he dipped me, and the world came flooding back. The music ended abruptly, and the people who were in the dining room clapped. The musicians did as well. 

“Well,” I said, out of breath, “Damn, you can dance.”

“It is one of my specialties.” He winked as he helped me back to my feet. 

Barth waddled over with two hot plates and set them at our seats. “Dinner is served!”

Julian and I started to dig in. I never realized how hungry I was until I took a bite. I had barely eaten in the past few days. Julian seemed to really enjoy the lobster.

“So,” I said in between bites, “Illya, huh? How did that nickname come to be?”

Julians face went cherry red. 

“Well...uh-” The mood seemed to change at the table, “I-its kind of a weird story…”

“Well, I have all night. I’m listening.” I said with piked interest. 

“Well, I want to be...honest… I have known Asra for a while...We used to be...Close.”

“So?”

“...He….He started calling me Illya after we were together for a while…”

I stopped eating for a moment.

“Wait, you guys were..?”

Julians ears turned red and he quickly blurted for another drink. He could only nod. I was certainly not mad, I just never expected that. He seemed to have so much hate and dislike when I was talking about Asra. I never knew he had Asra as a partner.

“That nickname is kind of cute. Can I call you Illya?”

“You’re not...Mad?”

“Of course not. I love people, not parts. And that was in the past. I can tell he really hurt or upset you though. I am sorry about that.”

“Its...Fine. We just don’t jive well. I’m a Pisces and he is a Gemini. It was...Fun at first...It just doesn’t work out in the long run. He was always daydreaming and I was always trying to work hard and find out about how to live life in the best way. Sitting in a hammock with a snake isn’t going to fix any situation. And snakes are, well, creepy. And the way they creepy when they just wanna squeeze everything. Running away from his problems didn’t help either.”

“That’s very true! I am a Cancer, so I certainly understand that. I feel like we are both emotional beings, huh?”

Julian laughed. 

“That is very true. Guess it is rude of me to be eating this, huh?” 

He motioned to his plate of broken lobster shells. It made me laugh. Soon after we were both satisfied in food and drink. I was very relieved to not feel the urges to drink until I was sick. I felt relaxed and had a really great time. I was pretty happy and more at ease about Asra and the things I didn’t know about Julian. I felt so much joy that he was fond of me too. Part of me kept craving his lips all night. Guess the doctor was right to prescribe fresh air and good company. 

“So, did you have fun Nix?” He said slipping his gloved hand into mine. 

“Yes. I really wanted to thank you for that. I really felt like I wouldn’t be able to get better and It helped a lot to be able to just talk and relax.”

“My pleasure, Darling.” He purred. “Anything else you want to do before we go to bed?”

My eyes flickered up and down his form, taking in his long stature and handsome features.

“Well,” I said as I slithered a hand towards his firm bottom, giving it a squeeze. “I have some ideas.”

…... 


	6. Chapter 6 - The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Nix can come face to face with the Truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't upload earlier! I worked overtime last week because adulting sucks. I honestly had ZERO time. But now I am back in my normal schedule lovelies!~

The sunlight stung my eyes. I sat up in bed, realizing I had no clothes to conceal me. I quickly pulled the covers back to shield my chest. Turning to my side, I saw Julian was not there. Last night came back in bits and pieces. His mischievousness really took a grip on my heart. A part of me I never gave to anyone else was now dedicated to none other than Dr. Julian Devorak.

Damn, we got so rowdy last night. I hope we didn’t wake anyone…

I got out of bed and stretched, glancing toward the window. Malak was perched on the edge, and cawed once. I shuffled toward him, scratching his beak.

“Hey there bud.”

“CAW!” 

He almost seemed like he was purring. I heard a small noise behind me and I turned around. Julian was dressed in his tight, dark pants and his baggy white shirt. In his hands he had a plate of steaming food. His face turned scarlett when I made eye contact with him. I realized I was still naked. 

“G..Good morning S-sweetheart.” He murmured.

“Morning, Illya.” I said, feeling my heart skip at the thought of him being so in awe of me. I went to the bedside and sat down, finding a purple tunic and a golden sash. I put on my tunic, and then Julian sat next to me. 

“Did you want breakfast? You slept in quite late.”

I looked down on the dish and found eggs, fresh bread and some potatoes. I accepted it with a smile on my face.

“Thank you Illya! Last night was fun.” Julian raised an eyebrow in a provocative way. I asked in between mouthfuls, “How are the patients this morning?”

He chuckled, “Asra finally woke up.”

I stopped mid swallow, choking on a piece of bread. I felt my stomach drop. Julian lightly tapped my back until I could go back to talking. 

“Asra? He’s...Awake?! Why didn’t you wake me up?!”

His ears turned pink. “You just looked so peaceful and happy being asleep. Come, I am sure you want to talk to him.”

I left the remaining parts of breakfast on the bed. I hurried downstairs, brushing my fingers through my short blue hair. My mind was reeling. I hit the bottom stair in a flash, quickly turning towards Asra. His eyes were closed as he was stroking Faust.

Friend! Awake!

Asra opened his brilliant purple eyes. I felt my heart skip and I ran to him with open arms. Tears came upon me like a floodgate. Asras gentle hands stroked my back. I clung to his chest, sobbing into his shoulder. The familiar scent of sandalwood made more tears fall. He was finally here. With me. 

“You asshole!” I cried into his shoulder, “Do not ever get hurt like this again. You hear me?!”

Asra smiled, then placed his finger under my chin and moved it upwards so I was looking at him. Those damned purple eyes. I felt so much Love. Longing. Sadness. Anger, when I looked into his eyes.

“Never, My Love.” He went to lean in for a kiss but I stopped him abruptly with my hand. “Explain everything. Now.”

His eyes grew sad, but it was as if he understood. His white hair was so matted, but even in his ragged appearance he was so gentle. I felt my chest tighten. He left me, for so long, for so many times. And whenever I see him again he has to act so sweet. I felt so betrayed.

“Dearest, I am so sorry. Where do I begin?” He sighed, looking at Faust. 

Heart! Of Forest!

“What is that Faust? Asra?”

Asra looked at me with tired eyes and held my hands. I saw Julian out of the corner of my eye begin work on another patient close by, his scowling could be felt for miles.

“The Heart of the Forest. That is where I got hurt. In my search for trying to find a cure for the upcoming plague, I found clues leading to his myth. The heart of the forest is a rare deity. It is rumored to be seen in the form of a large elk, even though it is just a spirit said to protect the forest. I tried to pray and ask for it’s help, but,” He flinched as he tried to sit up a little taller, “A strange spirit came after praying, and it just attacked me. It was some kind of weird goat with glowing red eyes.”

I stared deeply into his amethyst eyes. I had heard of this Heart of the Forest before, but it is said to still be in Vevusia. Why was he still gone for so long? Faust found her way around Asra’s neck, blopping her cute little tongue out at me. “I just want to protect you. I want to cure the plague or run away from it all, with you. After all I have done to you, I am not surprised if you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” I said quietly. I saw Julian stop working for a moment, huff, and then sharply continue his work. I felt my stomach twist and knot, a sudden hot anger eating me away inside. “You killed me inside.” Asras eyes grew wide as tears formed in them. “I used to be so mad at you. Leaving me behind, without a word. Then when you finally came home you would just act like everything was fine.”

Faust straightened up and slithered behind a pillow. 

Nix Angry! Run away!

“Asra, you think I can just accept all these emotions? This letter,” I pulled a crumpled, smudged piece of parchment from my tunic, “I have been reading and crying and reading over again. I feel like you love to hurt me. You know what wrongs you have caused and yet, you were still gone. Why be away from me searching for a cure, one you may never find i might mention, when you can cherish the moments left with me?” I folded my arms across my chest. I knew it was harsh, but it was the truth.

“I understand.” He said gently, his gaze falling, “And you have every right to be upset with me. I know I was wrong, but I did it to try and protect you. I tried to do what was right for you. For us.”

I snorted, standing up. I felt tightness in my chest, and heat singe my face. 

“How is there an ‘us’ if you aren’t there? I want to make it clear, there is no us.”

I felt my heart ache when I saw tears fall from Asra’s tanned face. I sighed, turning my back to him. I was silent for a moment, hearing his cries. He tried to keep them quiet but I could hear the pain in his voice. I turned to Julian, his face white. He looked dumbfounded. 

I sighed and looked to the ground, my heart sinking at the sound of Asra’s tears. “And yet, even after all of this. I still can not find it in my heart to hate you. You have done a lot for me, even in your absence. You helped me realize my strength. You helped give me a home and find my true power. You taught me how to run a business and some magic. You taught me how to feel and love the small things.” 

In my pocket, I felt a small quiver. I knew it was the Arcana cards he had given me. Trying to swallow the lump in my throat, I pulled out the Arcana cards. I shuffled them, and closing my eyes thought of a card to give Asra. I felt one tug and jump to my fingertips. I gave it to Asra, face down.

“Go on.” I said sternly.

Asra wiped his tears. Faust cautiously peeked her head out from the pillows. Asra gently turned over the card. The Magician. New beginnings. Moving forward. 

“So, I will give you one more chance.” I said quietly. “Prove to me that you are my friend. That you do care. Live in the now, and let us move forward. No more in the ‘what ifs’.”

Asra smiled as he laid back down, his weary eyes flinching. I grabbed him a small handkerchief and Faust a small sweater.

“Thank you.” He said with tears in his eyes. 

“Now,” I said, pulling Faust out from behind the pillows, her body straightening in fear as I put her on Asras lap. “Get some damned sleep before I change my mind.”

I was tucking the blanket around him, being wary of his wounds. I got a cool, damp cloth and placed it on his forehead. His eyes were wide and filled with tears, but they did not fall. He gave me a small foxy smile. His hand found my forearm and he held it. My eyes found his. They seemed to sparkle in happiness. I got lost in them for a moment, then jerked away.

“Don’t you look at me like that.” I grumbled. “Go to bed.”

I put the small sweater onto Faust, her lolling her tongue out when I scratched her chin. I sat next to Asra, urging him to rest. Eventually his eyes closed, and his hand released my arm. I looked at his hand, gracefully dangling from the bedside. Julian slunk to me, a stool in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Placing the stool down, he perched next to me. I felt myself shaking. Julian took off his glove, his hand finding its way into mine. He gave it a light squeeze. I looked into Julians eyes, his face looking grim. He caught my gaze and pulled me closer, until I was resting my head on his shoulder. His arm slid around my back. He absent mindedly rubbed it as we both studied Asra in silence.


	7. Chapter 7 - Broken Hearted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face finds her way into Julian's home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the Hiatus! I had moved into a new apartment. So now I am back <3

My eyes jerked open when I heard the door slam behind me. Julian snorted and sprung up to his feet in alarm. We both turned to see the mysterious tall man, accompanied by two people I have not seen in a long time. It was Muriel, and two women. One was short, stocky and full of personality. Her bright ginger hair seemed to brighten up the dark energy of the room. The other was a tall, slender woman with impatience in her eyes. Her cascading purple hair fell to her hips, and she sighed. Her delicate hands brushed her forehead. The short woman had her arm linked with the tall women, her eyes glistening.

“Hey Illya! Nadia is starting to have these weird headaches. She wanted to see you.”

Muriel bee-lined to Asra’s bed, sitting on the floor next to him. The house shook slightly when he sat, Malak cawing in alarm. I heard them mumble amongst themselves, and Asra touched his scarred face. It was the first time I ever saw that quiet man smile. 

Julian walked over to the woman named Nadia, shaking her hand. 

“Pleasure to have you here, Countess. Come right this way and I will, uh, evaluate what seems to be bothering you.”

Nadia said nothing, but the ginger girl followed her quietly. Julian lead her to one of the cots. Nadia seemed to glare disapprovingly at the simplistic white sheets, but eventually sat down. Julian’s gentle hands seemed to glide around her forehead and neck. After some investigating, he turned to me. 

“Nix, could you turn on the tea kettle? I believe the cause for this ache is stress. Let's make her feel at home before we send her back.”

I nodded in agreement and walked to the kitchen, starting a fire to begin boiling some water for tea. The ginger girl appeared beside me, a playful look on her face.

“Nice to meet ya, Nix. The name is Portia. I am Illya’s sister.” She gleamed.

“The pleasure is mine, Portia. So do you work for Nadia?”

“Yes! I am her helper. Its work but it is lovely. She truly cares for us all at the castle. So do you work for my brother?”

“It’s...Complicated.”

I smiled as a familiar mischievous grin touched her lips. Soon the tea was finished, and I got enough mugs for us all to have some tea. It was a wonderful blend, gathered and ground by Julian himself. He called it his stress relief tea. It had a beautiful earthy mix of chamomile, lavender, catnip, peppermint, ginger, hops, tila flowers, lemongrass and even some eleuthero. It was very strong, but the mix of scents and the infusions of flavors was extremely calming. Muriel drained his cup quickly, even with it piping hot. Julian gave his nicest cup to Nadia, even though it was chipped. She paid no mind and thanked him for the tea. 

“So Nadia,” Julian asked slowly, “How have you been coping with...The recent Lucio situation?”

She sighed, her eyebrows knitting together as if she had to pretend to be sad, “His illness? We have skilled doctors and practitioners from all over the globe. Even if it as serious as they say, he should be fine. I feel a sort of sadness toward the situation, and yet I also feel no remorse. Karma is a killer, I feel it was due to his own ego.”

“Do you think that may be a cause for these headaches?” Portia asked quietly.

Nadia grumbled, “No. But I have had a recent development of nightmares too.”

Asra grunted in pain as he sat up in his bed, Muriel supporting him. “Nadia, these nightmares...What have they been like? I keep having strange readings from my cards, and the rumors of the plague...It makes me worried.”

“My husband had been fantasizing about killing the heart of the forest, before he fell ill. It was all he used to talk about. You know how much he loved to hunt and bring the dogs with him to track. He had been trying to find this mythical child's tale for so long, it was laughable. But these nightmares...I don’t know how to explain…” She held her teacup so tight that her knuckles began to whiten, “ I am alone, in the forest. It is dark, solemn. A mysterious weasel leaves me behind. He screams, cries, and then the arrow. It breaks my heart to see it fall. I see my egoistic husband standing, smiling on a rock. By his feet lays the weasel, and this deerlike creature with an arrow sticking out of it. The feeling of anger, remorse, sadness...I was broken hearted. Lucio smiled and said my name, but then he fades away into this ghosty...thing. Like some sort of goat monster.”

She shivered at the thought. Julian promptly got her another cup of tea, reassuring her that it was just a dream. But there was a look in Asra’s eyes I could not simply ignore. He toyed with what she just said, laying back down. His gentle features soured at his thoughts. Muriel made the same expression, except he had disgust written boldly on his face. They maybe knew something I did not.

Julian eventually gave Nadia some of his prized leeches, instructing Portia to have her use one before bed, and have it removed by morning. Nadia looked appalled at the idea, but agreed nonetheless. Julian escorted them out the door and bid them farewell. When Julian closed the door, he locked it, pressing his head against the door. He paused, then sighed. I saw Asra stare at Julian, his eyes showing fear.

“Illya, this can’t be good. You do not know what I saw out there. This feels like the gods are giving us a sign…” 

Julian turned towards Asra, his eyes looking toward his boots. He looked toward us all, his thick eyebrows scowling at Asra.

“This is not good. No good at all. Something seems to be a little off, here. First, the Count gets sick, you come in here to stain my good cot, and now her headaches? And then, the mysterious goat man?! Gods, help us all!” He dramatically put his palm to his forehead, sighing in agony. He paused for effect, and saw the lack of amusement in Muriel’s or Asra’s eyes.

“But in all seriousness,” He uncomfortably cleared his throat, beginning to take off his work gloves and cape, “We need to get you better. I could care less about Loser-io. All he cares about is himself. He could be sick with the sniffles and he would make the whole kingdom cook him soup and tuck him in. Meanwhile, half of the Kingdom is dying of starvation or illness, and he doesn’t give two shits. He is useless.”

Asra snickered, then flinched at his stitches. Julian rushed to a cabinet and grabbed a mysterious bottle of herbs, which he spread over the wound. He looked back at Asra, continuing,

“Nightmares are just dreams. She is obviously very stressed. I wouldn’t overthink it. You know, stress is the worst illness of them all! And besides, I know you are stressed too. I feel like after inspecting these injuries, you were just phased by the sudden attack. Monsters do not exist, except for capitalism. That is a nasty monster. But that is another subject. It looks like you could have been attacked by a bear, but I wouldn’t worry too much. It seems to be, ahem, coincidence, if you ask me.” 

Asra laid back down, Julian pulling a thin sheet over Asra and Faust. I saw his face turn pink as he made sure Asra was comfortable. He made sure the pillow was fluffed, had warm tea at his bedside and even got Faust one of her sweaters. Soon after, Julian sent himself up the stairs to retire for the night. As I turned back toward Asra, I saw distress distort his features. Asra did not look comforted at Julian’s words. He turned to Muriel, murmuring something in his ear. Muriel sighed, stood up and walked out the door. 

I paid no mind as I stoked the fire, patting Ignus on the head. He chirped at the surprise pets, smoke coming out from his nostrils in delight. I felt lost in the gentle warm, honeyed skin of our fire salamander. I made myself a small cup of tea, sitting on a small stool by the fire. I gazed into the flames, the hypnotic flickering of the flames seemed to lick the cooling coals. I felt my eyes shut slowly. I jumped when I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw the gentle bronzed face and familiar white curls.

“Asra!” I said sharply, “Get back in bed! Do not push yourself. What are you doing standing up? You should be resting!”

Asra’s hand wrapped itself around my waist, pulling me closer. I saw his eyes twinkle, and his mischievous grin. He winked at me, raising a snowy eyebrow.

“Why don’t you tuck me in, Nix?” He brought his face uncomfortably close to mine. His other hand delicately cradled my face, which made me lose my breath for a moment. I snapped back out of his charms, pushing him away.

“You’re not a toddler. Get in bed!” Asra seemed taken aback that I shut him down like that, but he obliged nonetheless. I scowled as I made sure his tea was refilled and that he was comfortable. I felt a slight change in the atmosphere when I was about to leave.

“Just like when I was sick, you would bend over backwards for me. And yet...What have I done for you?” Asra’s face sullened. I turned to him, my heart aching at the sadness Asra had etched in his face.

“It is ok. That is behind us now.” He pulled in a sharp breath, looking at me with glassy eyes, “I forgive you.”

“W..Why? I have done nothing but run and hide. It is all I have ever known. Being an orphan, you would have to run. Hide. Steal. Hope. That is all I ever had.” He sat down on the bed, his head in his hands, “And then I found you, and I wanted to do was to protect you. But I never...Had anyone or anything to protect. I had nothing, and then everything. You were my sun and stars, the light of my world. But how could I expect that light to stay forever? Especially when I neglected it? I messed up, and had nothing again. I hope you know it was never my intention to slight you or abandon you. I could never say I’m sorry enough, Nix. The fact you even find it in your heart to find forgiveness...”

I nodded, Ignus coming back to me for more belly rubs. I scratched his warm tummy with one hand, and took Asra’s in another. My thumb stroked his palm gently. 

“I forgive you. I truly know that wasn’t your intent. But, you and I both have things we need to work on. We both need time to heal. I cannot say that we have the same sort of relationship as before, but we can start fresh and become friends again.”

He smiled, resting his head on the pillow. He gripped my hand tighter. Soon his grip eased as sleep took him. I stood up, staring for a moment. The way his gentle curls feathered, how his delicate eyelashes curled slightly. His slow rhythmic breath. The way Faust always intertwined herself in his lap or on his shoulders. I felt a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth. 

Forgiveness. It was as if a large weight lifted from my core. The fact I was so easy to forgive, and how much my heart felt lighter after doing so. Even though he never meant wrong in his actions, I could truly accept what he had done, even if it meant carrying anger. But to have the strength to move on from it, and start fresh? That is a wonderful feeling. 

I turned around me, seeing Julian coming down the staircase holding a dimly lit candle. 

“You doing ok down here, Nix?” Concern painted his features.

“Yes. I am doing...Really good.” 

Julian looked worried, but never said anything more on the subject. He motioned me first up the stairs. I found that the bedroom was all nice and clean, with a bright folded nightdress on the end of the bed. I shook it out, revealing the slight lace accents and the tribal purple patterns soaking the garment. 

“Aw, Julian!” I kissed him on the neck, his ears turning red, “Thank you! I love it.”

“I thought you might. I saw it on the way home this morning and I thought you would like it rather than just my baggy plain shirt.”

I beamed at him. “Thank you, Illya!”

His face got red as he bit his lip. He sat down on the bed, taking off his leather boots. 

“Anything for you, my dear.” 

Soon we settled into the fluffy comforters. Julian blew out the candle, finding his way into bed. I felt him lay closer to me than the past few nights, and I nestled closer to him. I heard him gasp, holding me. 

“G..Goodnight, Nix.” 

“Going to bed already?” I flipped over to face him, our noses almost touching. “I thought I could help tuck you in. You have been working so hard all day. You need some way to relax. The doctor needs to take care of himself, too.” My finger traced up and down his bare chest. I heard him fight a moan.

...


	8. Chapter 8 - Plague Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nix awakens to the worst day of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am almost done with this fanfic and it makes me so sad :( I love writing this one. But I have more coming up soon which I am excited for too <3

Opening my eyes, I found sunlight prodding its way through the curtain. I heard soft snoring behind me, and Julian’s arm draped across me. I smiled, settling myself to cuddle up against him. For a long while, I felt comfort and peace in the sound of his gentle snores. I saw Malak asleep at the windowsill, his silky feathers glistening with the morning sun. My tired mind kept jumping at different thoughts. Asra, and how he still had strong feelings for me. The Heart of the Forest, and Nadia’s dream. The fact that Julian was still unconvinced there was anything paranormal going on. I felt something was wrong, down in my gut. 

After some time had passed, my mind churning in tidbits of exhaustion and thought, I turned over to face a still sleeping Illya. His face seemed so gentle, yet almost provocative. His darkened eyelids were smoothed out, and the bags beneath them were almost gone. The curl of his crooked smile, even when he was asleep made my heart skip for a moment. His coiled auburn locks just framed his face, and his bangs feathered over a part of one of his eyes. The definition in his shoulders and neck were just begging to be kissed. 

Julians eyes fluttered open, his face turning cherry. He bit his lip. “Good morning. D-did you need me for something?”

I nosedived into the side of his neck, pressing light kisses and bites. He moaned, pulling my hips close to his. I heard him sigh, and made a shaky attempt to take my top off. I hit his hand, glancing at him, and he mustered as much restrain as he could. A sudden hard edge pressed against my thigh, making me pull away. I felt heat blaze my face, as I looked deep into his hungry eyes. I gently caressed him, making him squirm. I slipped off my top, his lip quivering. As he went to reach for me, I then grabbed him firmly. His face grew desperate. 

“Is that your plague mask, or are you just happy to see me?”

I heard a creak, and turned toward the door. I saw Asra staring at us, like a deer in the headlights. I scurried to hide under the covers, Julian stayed where he was, out in the open. Asra was holding a part of his left side, but seemed to be doing a lot better.

“S-sorry to interrupt…” Asras eyes fell to the floor, his face turning scarlett, “But the Countess is here. And it is urgent.”

Julian rolled his eyes, trying to avoid Asra’s eyes. 

“Is it really that important?” He dramatically waived his hands.

Asra scowled, the heat of his glare boring a hole into Julian. He sighed, flipping the blanket off. Asra’s eyes grew even wider as he turned quick on his heel and slammed the door.

“Get down here, you asshole!” I heard him angrily stomp down the stairs. Julian looked at me, embarrassed, “Well, up and at them I guess!” 

We both quickly dressed and ran downstairs. Nadia had Portia re-applying makeup, as I saw some of it smudged with tears. 

“What is wrong, my Dear Countess?” Julian asked, kissing her hand respectfully, “I am at your service, my Lady.”

“My husband. It has been confirmed.”

Julian looked confused, but he started putting on his familiar black cape. He grabbed several bottles of leeches and shoved them into a leather bag. I noticed the whole time he tried to disregard Asra’s presence. 

“What has been confirmed?”

I saw Asra’s face turn white as Nadia spoke, 

“The Red Plague.”

Julian stopped dead in his tracks, his outstretched hand inches away from his glistening plague mask. The glass eyes seemed to laugh at him, and its long curved beak was full of dried herbs; I could smell it from across the room. Julians leather gloves creaked as he brought his hands into fists, slamming them on the table dramatically. He didn’t dare face Nadia.

“Are you certain?”

Nadia thrummed in agreement. Julian stood there for a moment, both fists still stuck to the wooden table. He was staring directly into the eyes of the mask, as if they were taunting him. As if he was thinking of the last time he had to wear this mask. He turned toward her, his boots clicking on the floor.

“Have you barricaded him from everyone else in the castle? When was the last time you had contact with him?”

“For someone who likes to brag about being so large and in charge, he certainly hasn’t excited me recently. As fpr the castle, yes, when he started showing signs of anything he has kept to his room in the far wing. No one else has seen him but the doctors, and they are taking all precautions.”

Julian sighed, turning toward the mask again. He picked it up, staring into its glass eyes. 

“I will be there momentarily, my Countess. In the meantime, please ensure no one else is in contact with him. Anyone who is in range of him is in massive danger. I will head over shortly to start to care for him.”

The Countess seemed pleased with his response. Both Illya, Asra and Portia seemed as if they were going to be sick. Asra sat down on the cot as the Countess and Portia made their way out.

“Nix,” Julian said as he turned to me, the mask still in his hands, “Please. Whatever happens, stay here.” His boots clicked on the solid floor as he reached me, holding me close to him, “And do not follow with me. I understand you are my apprentice, but this is dangerous. No matter what you hear, do not follow, you understand? Give me your word.” 

I nodded in agreement as I felt tears well in my eyes as I fell into him. I held him close, my heart already breaking at the realistic possibility I could never see him again. I pressed my lips into his for a hungry, saddened kiss.

“Please know, Nix...I-I uh,” His face grew red as he started undoing the strap on the back of his mask, but then cupped my face gently, “I Love You. And do not forget it. Please.”

“I love you too.”

He put on the mask, his looming appearance almost frightening me. I heard him sigh when he paused at the open door, yet he still shut it behind him. And just like that, he was gone and out of the door. I sat down on a nearby stool, trying to process everything that just happened. I felt tears streaming down my face, but my cries were silent. I just sat and stared at the floor, hoping and praying to any possible gods that Julian would not be killed.

I felt a light touch on my shoulder. I turned to find Asra, his face pale. 

“Please...If there is anything you can do to protect him…Please if you can't do it for him do it for me! I love him so much I do not think I could stand losing-”

“No magic within my reach can prevent Death’s choice. But, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to protect you.”

“I don’t care about me!” I said with heaving sobs, “ Please! I don’t care if I’m dead, make sure he will be safe! Are you not a magician?!” 

Asra’s arms wrapped around me, calming me down. The scent of sandalwood and sage drifted around me, and his familiar muscular arms seemed to hold me together. I leaned my head into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was so strong. I took a deep breath with him, and then looked up to meet his welcoming fuschia eyes.

“I promise to do what I can, if that will make you happy.”

I leaned my head back into his chest, squeezing him hard, “ Thank you...Thank you..” 

We stood for a little while, in each others arms. I felt guilt creep up my spine, and it made me sick to my stomach. I let him go, my eyes falling to the ground.

“I’m...Sorry that this change will take some...Getting used to for you…”

“Whatever you need, my Love.” His hand found the curve on the back of my neck. He looked deep into my eyes, and studied me for a moment. Soon his hand fell back to his side. He sighed as he found his way back to his cot. “I am...Sorry about this morning. I guess I never knew how much you had..Moved on.” I heard his voice quiver. “The fact I thought I still had a chance...Well that was just me being optimistic.”

I said nothing as I made my way into the kitchen. I made some tea and some toast, but I found I just wasn’t that hungry.

….. 


	9. Chapter 9 - Mischief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nix makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapter to write. But be prepared for what is coming.

I found my eyes flutter open to bright sunlight. I sat up in bed, my throat tightening to find Julian not by my side. I grumbled and stood up, stretching. My heart ached at the thought of him working in the castle, a dangerous place. Wandering to the window, I looked at the crowded market below. A chilled air blew in, causing me to shiver. A couple golden and red leaves danced their way through the wind current, waltzing to the ground.I glanced down the street, the familiar maroon and orchid hues of Asras shop shining brightly. The shop seemed to almost be calling my name. 

My Arcana cards. I felt them thrum with energy, but tried to ignore it. Magic was amazing, but these magical creatures in cards? Why even bother to talk to me? I put the deck in my pocket anyway.

I threw on the vivid purple tunic Julian bought me. The slight scent of him was left behind, making me miss his embrace. I looked to the windowsill again, hearing a small ruffle. I turned around to see Malak, with his everyday herb delivery attached to his foot. I had to wonder where he got it from, everyday. Pulling the string loose that held the herbs together, they fell into my hands. Lilac, small amounts of a bright blue herb and a green fragrant herb. Together, they smelled vaguely of Julian’s leather gloves after working. I thanked Malak, scratching under his beak. He crowed in affection, and then flew back outside.

Rushing back down the stairs with herbs in hand, I ventured to his small kitchen to make tea and found Asra, a small flame in his hand.

“What are you doing?” I whispered. Catching him off guard, he huffed.

“I was making you some breakfast.” He smiled as he showed me his hands, as well as the counter. He had a woven basket full of small pastries, and even some of my favorite; matcha tarts. I gleamed.

“Wow! Thank you, Asra!” I reached for one, but he took my hand in his.

“Not yet, Dear,” He said gently, “I am not done, Please, sit by Ignus and the fire. It is cold this morning, I will be there in a moment.” 

I wandered into the room with cots and the fire, Ignus happily chirping upon my arrival. I scratched his chin and pulled a stool next to the fire. In a few moments, I saw Faust slither down the stairs, and she found my way into my lap. 

Naps!

I smiled, her forked tongue blopping out. I turned toward the door, hoping that maybe Julian would waltz in, his arms raised, talking about Salty Bitters and being rowdy. Maybe him coming in, praising how we fell for a silly joke. I just wanted him to be back. 

The door creaked open. I cocked my head to the side, my light blue hair kissing my shoulder. The sign said closed, and most of the town knew he was in the castle. No one could be here, right? I placed Faust next to Ignus, her tired eyes closing as she cuddled against his warm belly. I crept to the door, my heart racing. Opening the door, I saw no one was there. But something caught my eye. 

A little sable ferret. At least a foot long, with the brown mask and short stumpy legs. He seemed to grin in such a devilish way. I felt confusion hit me like a horse.

“...What?” He squeaked, but I noticed something was in his mouth. I bent down to pet it, but he accidentally dropped it and snatched it back up, backing away.

He had a letter in his mouth, but it was addressed to me? I went to reach toward the letter, and the ferret backed up.

“Please, uh, Mister. Can I have the letter? It has my name on it!”

It turned around, running down the cobblestone. I raced after him, zooming in between innocent people roaming the streets. This ferret kept looking back at me, with the letter in his mouth as if to taunt me. My lungs started to burn, and my calves started to cramp.

Finally, I cornered him. Right at Asra’s shop. The ferret looked for a route to escape, but I snatched him up. I looked at him and glared, taking the letter from his mouth. Raising my hand, I unlocked the door with the familiar spell. I walked inside and the scent of incense overwhelmed me. On the glass counter, I put the small rascal down. 

“Why did you make me run all over like that for? Huh?” The ferret looked confused. 

I looked at the letter. It seemed to be made with old parchment, and the handwriting was scrawled, yet beautiful in its own swoopy way. It was written in bright purple ink. I opened it gently, finding matching stationery inside. Pulling it out, I saw that the paper was almost entirely blank.

“What?” I said to the ferret, “The time has come...?”

I sighed, crumpling the paper up and throwing it on the other side of the glass booth.

“Can you talk? Do something cool? What are you here for, little dude?”

The ferret looked just as confused as I was. Sighing, I opened the door and motioned him to leave. He sat there, not budging.

“Well, go on then.” He stood up on his four little legs and shook himself like a wet dog. He walked to the end of the glass display case, and jumped. Two brawny wings, almost too high on his shoulders, the poor little thing, flew open. The wings were where its shoulders met, and he awkwardly hovered down to the floor. The wings looked relatively young and new, unable to fly far just yet. They were speckled in bits of brown. I gasped as he landed gently on the floor, and sat at my feet. He just stared at me with sad, beady eyes.

“Well, that is cool. Do you have nowhere to go? No one to go home to?” He nodded. “So you can understand me, then?” He nodded again. “So where did you get the letter?”

He looked confused again. I sighed, picking him up. I knew it was probably a terrible idea, but I didn’t care. This little guy was unique. Something about him made me feel at home. 

“Come on, you Mischief maker.” He smiled, cooing into my arm.

I found myself walking back to Julian’s shop, Asra calling my name out the door. Faust pointed her head in my direction and said my name.

Nix! And new friend!

Asras handsome features contorted in confusion, but smiled when we went inside.

“Well well, who is this little guy?” He said while scratching behind his tiny brown ears, “He is very cute.” The ferret seemed almost offended, baring his teeth and trying to look tough. “Oh, my apologies, you look strong and rough and tough.”

“And a devil.” I added as he puffed his chest out proudly, “He made me run all the way down the street for some stupid letter!”

I laughed, seeing Asra smile. I felt my heart jump at the sight of it.

“What will you name him? Feeling his aura, he seems to really like you. He seems to be almost a familiar.”

“I feel like Mischief fits the bill. What do you think about that, bud?”

He looked at me with a wide, fanged smile. His tail wagged as if he was a dog.

“Welcome to the family, Mischief. Show Asra what you can do.” I held my hands out, and he looked down. He jumped with so much valiant effort, and his small tawny wings opened and flapped with much exertion. He slowly but surely flew his way to Asra.

“Wow! Good job little one.” Asra said as Mischief beamed. Asra placed him gently on the floor to sniff Faust. Faust seemed nervous, but they soon warmed up to each other. They were playing and even snuggling after a few minutes.

“Let’s eat while they get used to each other,” Asra pulled me close to him in an embrace, “I am feeling a lot better. In a few days I am going back to the shop. Are you...Going to come with me?” His eyes looked like they were pleading for me to go with him. 

I let him go and looked to the ground.

“I am sorry. I have to stay here. But I am just up the street if you need anything.”

His eyes fell, and he sat down at the small table. It was filled with beautiful pastries, fresh fried eggs and hot pumpkin bread. He made his famous brew of herbal tea. It all looked so beautiful, like it was like it was out of a painting. 

“I will visit often, do not worry, Asra.” I smiled at him. 

“That isn’t my concern.” He said, his eyes growing dark, “It’s just that…” He sighed, putting his fork down. “You still love him, don’t you?”

I felt my face go red. Asra’s eyes burned into mine, his obvious desperation making my heart sigh. I saw Mischief and Faust in the other side of the room stop playing, dead in their tracks. I felt like everyone was waiting for me to answer. I put my matcha tart down, then locked eyes with Asra.

“...I do. I love him very much. But Asra, I care about you too.”

Asra stood up, eyes to the ground. He motioned for Faust to come over. 

“Let’s go, Faust.”

But Nix!

“Now, Faust.”

“Wait, Asra!” I rushed to his side, hugging him from behind, “Please, don’t go.”

I felt him pause, then shake me of our embrace. He turned to face me, tears welling in his eyes.

“All I ever wanted is for you to be happy in this world. Nothing else. And if that means...Julian is the one...So be it. I won’t wait anymore...I lost the chance I had by always running away...”

I felt Faust slither up his arm and snuggle into his scarves. Asra headed to the door, and paused. Then he closed it behind him.

Bye bye, Nix... I felt my heart shatter. For the first time in a long while, I was truly alone. I sat on the hardwood floor, tears overwhelming me. Soon, I felt some small paws on my leg, and I looked down. Mischief was looking at me with much concern on his little face. I picked him up and grabbed a small bag.

“Let’s go cause some trouble, Mischief.” 

…...


	10. Chapter 10 - Afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nix follows her heart, but where will that lead her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters left! Grab your Kleenex!

Running. My feet kept smashing the cobblestone with great force. Mischief was curled close to my chest, his little wings sputtering at the speed of me running. I had to go. I had no other choice. Asra kept thinking of me more than a friend, and we already had talked about it. Those deep purple eyes held a poison that could keep me there forever, if I let it. 

But Julian. I was his apprentice. He was always there for me when Asra was gone. He helped me discover my own usefulness. The auburn twirl of his hair and the ashen look in his eyes made me fall to my knees. I had to be there for him, to support him. I know he didn’t want me to go, but I knew it was right. As his apprentice, it was my duty to help those in need, even if it was my own Doctor Devorak. 

I screeched to a halt, a flash of ginger hair catching my vision. I raced toward it, only to find that when the figure turned around, it was not him. Rather, his sister, Portia.

“Portia! Just the person I needed to see.”

Her freckled cheeks blushed at the sight of me. On her hip she steadied a woven basket of various fruits and herbs. I stopped in front of her, panting.

“Hiya there, Nix! What are you doin’ around these parts? Hey, what is wrong?”

I met her eyes for just a moment. Her face soured immediately. She knew why.

“Illya told me…” Her eyes cast down away from me, “You cannot go in with him. It is dangerous, and the Count keeps getting worse and worse by the day…”

“Portia,” I coughed, my lungs burning from running, “I am his apprentice! I have to help him. And this could be a good learning experience for me. Please he has taught me so much-”

She held up a small white finger to my lips, “I’m sorry, Nix. He told me that I shouldn’t, it’s not a good idea. It is only because he cares for you. I can’t do it.”

I felt tears brim to my eyes but I didn’t let them fall. I felt my lips pursed and turned around. Portia called my name to stop me, but it was no use. I shouldn’t put that burden on her shoulders. I cut through the crowd and saw a nearby staircase. I raced to the top, glancing over the typhoon of people. I saw the spot of ginger hair once more, weaving its way through the crowd. 

If she can’t bring me to the castle, I will follow her and find another way in. It was a simply watch and follow game at that point. Her bright hair stuck out from the rest. Soon the crowd was becoming thinner as the castle finally peaked its way over the hill. Creeping on the stairs and far behind the crowd, Portia looked both ways and then dashed into a small alleyway. I followed close behind, ensuring to not get caught. Many twists and turns later, I had lost sight of her. I tried to backtrack and see if Mischief could sniff her trail out, but all he found was a purring cat. I bent down to pet her, but then it looked up at me with soft eyes and peeped. It stood up and walked slightly to the side. A knob. I pulled it and a small entrance on the floor opened up. I thanked the cat quickly with some chin scratches and followed the ladder into the dark depths.

It was extremely dark, but a small flame was ahead. The cat went and raced in front of us, the occasional reflection of whiskers showing near the flame. I heard Portia voicing her concern to where this cat was. I felt something in the pit of my stomach. Second thoughts, doubts and fear. But I swallowed to keep them down, subconsciously rubbing Mischiefs head in the process.

Finally, the tunnel began to open up. I saw Portia hang the torch on the side of the wall, and then a huge crack echoed throughout. She opened a door. Light spilled and drowned the tunnel, praying to any gods she wouldn’t see me. I saw the light fade as she closed the door. I snuck to the door, putting my ear against it. I heard her talking, but not sure to whom. I sat in front of it, waiting for her voice to disappear. I looked to my right, to where Mischief just ran to. That same damned cat was laying down, looking at me with her all knowing eyes.

“What? Are you trying to help us or something?”

Peep!

She found her way into my lap, curling up. I too felt like I was about to drift to sleep until the cat perked its ears up. It scratched at the corner of the door, peeping at me.

“You mean she is gone?” 

The cat began to purr as if in agreement. I pressed my ear to the door and heard nothing. I said a silent prayer and lifted the handle. The door screamed as it opened, but the room was empty. It had some small, dinky wooden chairs and tables. This must have been some sort of servant lounge or meal room. I followed the cat, as she seemed to know where to go. She slinked in and out of hallways, somehow avoiding any type of visual contact from any guards or servants. 

The palace was beautiful. Crafted in marble, gold and whites, I guess it was no joke that the Count had his way with looks. It really seemed like the pinnacle of royalty. Even the servants seemed to be relatively healthy and happy, given the circumstances. Fresh floral arrangements were everywhere, as well as exotic animals too. 

The cat stopped running. It sat near a mysterious door. It was made of stone and had a complicated lock on it. Small vines were growing out of it. I gave the cat a stern look, but it decided to start cleaning its paws.

“So, do I just...knock?” I whispered to the cat, as if it could understand. 

It just continued with its cleaning. I took a deep breath, straightened out my clothes and raised a fist. I knocked. I felt my heart jumping out of my chest. My breathing was so ragged. 

What the hell am I doing? Trusting a damn cat?! Has Asra really made me lose my mind? I am trespassing. In the goddamn castle out of all places.

I felt my bones rattle. A moment passed, and the door quivered. I jumped back, nausea holding me close. But when the door opened, my heart stopped. 

Julian. 

His eyes grew wide, and somehow he became paler. He was wearing stained red and white robes, had a mask on and leather gloves. His red hair seemed as dashing as ever. I felt my mouth open, as did his when he pulled the mask off.

“What did I say about not coming into this?!” I was taken aback by his fierceness. “I just...I wanted to protect you..”

“Julian,” I started, “I am your apprentice. I am here to help you. I can’t stay behind like that. We have to be a team. I will be careful I promise.”

He crossed his arms, angry tears forming in his eyes. 

“Guess I do not have much of a choice, do I? You are here now. You’re stubborness will keep you coming back if I have the guards throw you out.”

My eyes fell to the floor. I thought he would be happy to see me, not like this.

“I’m...Sorry...I know it wasn’t what you originally wanted, but I can’t stay in a place like that all alone. And Asra is always leaving, as you know. I just can’t be alone anymore. I love you. I need adventure. Work. Stories. I need the peace of mind that you are okay. Please, if you would have me as your apprentice here.”

A green figure appeared behind Julian, their red eyes and red stained white garments almost glowing. Their stare seemed to burn right through me.

“Ah,” They croaked, “Are they another patient?”

“No.” Julian said sharply, “My apprentice, Nix. They came to help assist in this endeavor.”

“Hello, nice to meet you. And wait, another patient?”

Julians eyes flickered away from mine, “Yes. It isn’t just Lucio. He is our main focus, as he is in the worst condition. But the servants have started to go down like flies. And then one of our tailors in town. It is really not looking good right now. I guess you are safest here, then.”

He allowed me through the doorway, it grinding shut behind me. I heard the other mysterious doctor chuckle, “Now, let us teach our new apprentice about dissection!”

Julian rolled his silver eyes, “They are my apprentice. And no, the point is to help heal the plague victims, not to cut them up like chicken!”

I still heard the mysterious voice chuckled as they began to go down a stairway. I swore it wasn’t there a minute ago, but maybe I was just seeing things. We traveled down the stony staircase, Julian behind me, quiet. It was very unusual for him.

“Nix,” He said after some long, agonizing minutes, “When we reach the bottom, please tightly affix your mask and dress in your doctor's clothes, especially gloves. This plague is unusual. It is beginning to get a nickname of the Red Plague, for reasons.”

“Reasons like?”

“Well,” He cleared his throat, “ From what we have gathered thus far, the plague begins with a headache and a fever. The fever gets high over the next few days, and then they get red patches over their skin. If they don’t die from the fever, which the majority of them do, their eyes become bloodshot. That is all we know so far, as we are barely keeping Lucio alive at this point.”

I felt my stomach drop.

“What? No way! The Count? Beaten by an illness like this?”

“Don’t underestimate it. We already lost three doctors to it. It has been a rough couple of days. Do not act careless around it. Do not touch any fluids, do not use any dishes they have used and certainly do not enter the room without a mask.”

“I am so sorry for your losses, Dr. Devorak.”

“Please...Don’t call me that. It is Julian for you.” He gave an exhausted wink.

I bet he hasn’t slept since he has been here. Soon we found ourselves in front of a huge iron gate. The mysterious doctor unlocked it, allowing us in. This room seemed clean and was full of new uniforms, masks and gloves. I quickly dressed behind Julian, who shielded me from the prying eyes of who I learned to be Valdemar. They claimed they just wanted to see the difference in my anatomy, but I think it was horseshit.

We found ourselves all cleanly dressed and in front of an iron door. Julian opened it, ensuring our masks were on properly. 

Red. That was all in my vision. There were dead people on the tables, which Valdemar had the audacity to jog over to and begin poking and prodding at. Blood colored the floors. But near the far end of the room stood a beautiful four post bed. Two white dogs sat on either side like statues. I saw a pale face and bloodshot eyes that at first made me think of a skeleton. But I realized it was Count Lucio. Julian linked my arm and his. I felt him shaking, but he had a stone cold face. I looked at him as we walked to Lucio. 

“It will be alright. We can do this, Julian. If anyone can, it would be you.”

I felt his shaking decrease but it was still there. Soon I was feet away from the very sick Lucio. His receding blonde hairline, the fragile look in his hands and fingers. He seemed so grand and so terrifying, and to see him like this was almost pitiful.

“Jules,” He rasped, “Water. Filtered. Now.”

Julian was quiet for a moment. 

“This is Nix, my apprentice. They will be helping to see if there is a cure for the plague as well.”

“Water.”

Julian sighed and went to the other side of the room. There was an intricate water filter let down by bamboo pipes and a small pot of charcoal. Julian filled a glass and gave it to Lucio. He drank it as if he was starving. He threw the glass goblet across the room and glared at a doctor. 

“Pick. Up. Glass. Mess.”

They nodded and jumped to it. Lucio turned to look at Julian and I once more. 

“Nix, you said?” He wheezed. Julian nodded. 

“Please help. You are a wizard, right?” He coughed and hacked up blood in a nearby bowl.

“Well, I am a doctor's apprentice. But wizards don’t really exist. Magic does, but magic can only do so much.”

“Make this pain go away, now. I command-” He hacked up another glob of blood, “It as the Count.”

I put my hands out, focusing energy to my palms. I closed my eyes and searched for any positive forces, but it was hard to find all the way down underground. But I felt tingling in my fingertips. When I opened my eyes, the Count was asleep.

“He can’t feel it if he is asleep, right?” I mumbled.

Julian began to laugh. Loudly. He was snorting and wheezing, laughing to the point of tears. 

“You know, that is pretty smart I will give you that. This is probably our chance to get some rest, doctors!”

On the right side of the room there were doors placed very close to each other. They were all crafted with a thick metal. Julian fumbled with some keys that were attached to his side, and opened the door. He left me in first and locked the door behind him.

The room was filled with parchment. I made out a desk towards the right that had an inkwell, quills, tools and paper with chicken scratch. Books were open, torn, stained, scribbled in. The desk had a set of black leather gloves, similar to which he had back in his clinic. There was also a few candles, one which Julian lit. Toward the left, a hard, very small bed was tucked to the furthest corner. A thin sheet with holes and a very flat, dark pillow was perched on the hard bed. Julian sat down upon it, beginning to take off his gloves and leather boots. He sighed when he started unlacing one of his boots,

“Nix, Dearest…” I heard the solemn tone in his voice, “I wanted you to stay there. To protect you. Because I care ...”

I locked my eyes with his, and stepped toward him. My right hand found the crook under his chin. I felt him swallow, his adam's apple bobbing. His cheeks found a similar shade of scarlet found in the other room.

“Julian, Dearest. That is why I came here. To protect you. Because I care. I love you so much.”

My lips were magnetized to his neck, where deep moans echoed through the small study. I went up and down, pressing kisses and tongue. Lightly, I began pressing my teeth to where his shoulders met his neck. But then I heard Julian sigh, not in pleasure but rather in pain. I heard friction in his voice as he pushed against my sternum, creating distance between us.

“Nix, I am afraid. Losing you would be the worst nightmare ever experienced. Please, if you insist on staying, be careful. Please.”

…..

. 


	11. Chapter 11 - Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian is upset and does not forgive easily, however now that Nix entered the dangerous area they have no choice but to have them help. Nix begins to feel something is off, both with Lucio and their health.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took so long, life got crazy! Chapter 12 is almost done soon, Happy Holidays!

A few days had passed, or so I thought. Without sunlight here in the Castles basement, it was hard to tell if it was weeks or months. More patients began to flood in, the same disturbing symptoms as the Count. At first, it began with him and some of his closest servants, but now we began to recognize people from within the city. Everyday was a struggle to try and stay clean, sanitized and to not be contaminated.

It was worse than any sickness either Julian or I had ever seen. Even with me being a relatively fresh apprentice, the tell tale signs were disturbing. Paleness. Shivering. Coughing up Blood. But the most significant sign was the red eyes. It was as if Death was looking straight toward me, all the time.

A beautiful excotic woman was ushered in by two servants, groaning in agony. My heart sank, I knew who it was. Her dark hair and tanned skin, I knew to sell fresh fruits like pomegranates at the market. She was the wife of the baker, always such a sweet woman. Julian and I quickly readied a bed for her, the bags under my eyes tugging in exhaustion. We laid her down, giving her some water and putting a cool cloth on her head. Julians nimble hands scanned her body for any signs of hope.

“Nix,” the thick accent drooled from her lips, “What are you doing here, love?”

“I am here to help people. People that get sick.” I smiled in reassurance, trying to hide the chronic pain in my head, back and arms. “Please, what you need to do is rest.”

“But Nix. Asra is so unbelievably worried about you. Ever since you left, he has been lamenting to come after you. He is so worried.” She paused for a moment as I dabbed her fever with some new cool rags. “Nix,” she grabbed my hands, coughing away from my face. “You know he is really a good man. Both of you could run away from all this. Make yourselves a life together, away from this disease. You should marry him.” 

I stopped for a moment, my eyes flicking towards Julian’s furrowed eyebrows. He was trying to absentmindedly scrub his hands from the previous patient, but I could tell those words hurt him.

“He is a good man, loyal and kind. But I have to make a choice that is good for me. I need a partner that is able to give me the attention I need, make me laugh, and can care for me. I am tired of running away.” Her smile faded slightly, glancing in Julian’s direction. 

“Yes, but a doctor. It is a dangerous job. Always fear, always helping so many who are already lost to Death. Doctors go to wars and stay in dangerous zones with illness.” She coughed and sat up quickly, spitting clots into the bowl by her bedside.

“Don’t worry about me, dear. Please, get some rest.”

She finally laid down, the pleading in her eyes. I kept trying to ignore the feeling, I did miss Asra. But this is where I belonged, by Julian’s side. I felt like I had a purpose. I wasn’t alone,I could help someone. I turned toward him, his bouncing waves of red curl hypnotizing me. I walked to him, pulling off my stained leather gloves and washed up in a makeshift basin of water and soaps. I was trying to ignore the pounding in my skull.

“Our shift should be off soon. We should go take a bath, I don’t remember the last time we sat together and had a few moments to ourselves. Since Vevusia has sent out orders for every doctor to come to the palace, it is going to give us a chance to rest.”

Julian nodded, pressing his back against the wall to support himself. “Yes, love. A warm bath and a seductive partner for a few hours?” He laughed, even with the exhaustion taking him over, “I couldn’t be happier. It will be like we are living life again, even if its only for a few hours. Let's head upstairs.”

The servants were waiting for us, with special masks over their faces to protect from possible germs. Once up the stairs, they scrubbed us and led us into a blocked off wing of the palace. It was actually Nadia’s Master Bedroom. A very generous Countess, she offered her own private baths for the doctors and assistants as a thanks for our hard work. They left us with clean robes and the key to a room down in the hallway when we were finished. 

Her room was so large, but the ‘bath’ were even bigger. It was as if a collection of lakes were in her castle. The water was steaming and hot, but enough to relax. Jars and bottles of various liquids adorned the edges of the tubs. I began to thankfully strip off my dirty clothes, more than ready for a bath. I turned to Julian who was still fully dressed, his face blushing.

“It always surprises me, still so shy. You are very cute, my dear.” I said as I strutted up to him, grabbing the collar of his jacket and bringing his face close to mine, “Come on, get in the water like a good boy.”

He obediently shrugged off his clothes, stepping into the water. Even with being so tall, he could barely touch the bottom.Thankfully, him and I both sat on the stairs leading down into the water, relaxing into our seats.

“Ah,” He sighed, tension leaving his broad shoulders, “Finally, a bath. I don’t know how the Countess does it, but this is such a wonderful bath. But it is even better with you in it. But,” His eyes flickered down toward the steaming water, sadness catching in this throat, “I am so worried, Nix. It is so dangerous out there. Maybe that lady was right, earlier…”

“No!” I took him by his sharp jawline, peering into his silver eyes, “Asra is a good man. He has kind intentions, but he could never be for me. But you, us! We are so wonderful for each other. You are there to care for me, to be so compassionate. You didn’t have to take me in after Asra ruined my heart and left, but you did. You did everything in your power to try and make me happy.”

He smiled half heartedly, “ I know, but Love, I just want to protect you.” His hand caught in mine, “Our world is most cruel, and I would never want anything bad to happen to you. You are the first thing I want to protect.”

My lips found his, and my hands explored his back, leaving small trails of light scratches. He leaned into the kiss, a small groan escaping from his throat. His hand found my wrists as he backed me toward the corner of one of the baths. He held me firmly, but protectively, 

“Nix, the world right now is ours. Whatever may happen will happen. But now, I want you, if you would have me.”

I felt my face flush at his sudden statement. Usually, I would tease him. But he seemed so assertive. I guess he really did want me. He smiled as he saw the color in my cheeks, leaning to my ear and whispering, 

“Nix, I Love you.”

His passion met my lips, his body trusting. The warm water splashed slightly at our moans and sighs. I lightly tugged his hair, his eyes looking desperate. The unexpected hard edge caught me by surprise, but it was only a bottle of soap that must have fallen into the bath with our small commotion. I felt a sharp throb in my head. Absentmindedly, I put my hand to my forehead.

“You ok?” He stopped, his nimble hands on my shoulders.

“Just a small headache.”

He stopped for a moment, obviously wishing to continue.

“Nix….I….” He sighed, “We should wash up and head downstairs to get some rest.”

“...Oh.. Ok.” I awkwardly gave him his space, trying to ignore my thrumming heart.

We helped to clean each other up, and headed back downstairs into the basement. At this time, we only had a few hours to sleep. Julian took his key and unlocked the door to his small study, and tried to fashion the cot to be big enough for two. He looked at me with tired eyes, laying down. I soon followed, cuddling up into the curves of his arm and chest, looking into his deep eyes and curved nose. Fatigue ate at me, my eyes closing. 

……. 


End file.
